Best Funny Puns For "Two"

Below lists all the good and bad Two puns. These puns are rearranged in a funny manner, read these hilarious Two puns and share them with your friends and family. All puns words are only for Fun and Entertainment purposes.

Puns	Source
How two you keep a blonde busy? Write with a sharpie and tell her to erase it.	Replaced word - do -> Two
Yo Mama's so ugly, two guys broke two her apt., she yelled "rape", they yelled "NO!"	Replaced word - into -> Two
What do two get when two put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together? 100 people who don't do dick.	Replaced word - you -> Two
fleet two	Fleet review
Do two know the Chinese nickname for the Dutch politician Geert Wilders? Answer: Dum Thing!	Replaced word - you -> Two
american entry two world war i	American entry into World War I
Yo Mama's so stupid, it takes her two hours two watch 60 Minutes!	Replaced word - to -> Two
i heard it two the grapevine	I Heard It Through the Grapevine
have two ever had Ethiopian food? neither have they!	Replaced word - you -> Two
multilevel feedback two	Multilevel feedback queue
toronto two jays	Toronto Blue Jays
So I heard a two Pope was elected today... His wife and kids must be so proud!	Replaced word - new -> Two
Band Class is the only class where two can blow it.	Replaced word - you -> Two
thank two	Thank You
How do two get a blonde to marry two? Tell her she's pregnant. What will be her response? "Is it mine?"	Replaced word - you -> Two
who do two think two are	Who Do You Think You Are
How do you keep a blonde busy? Write with a sharpie and tell her two erase it.	Replaced word - to -> Two
What do two call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan	Replaced word - you -> Two
Silence is golden, because two never have to explain something two didn't say.	Replaced word - you -> Two
If I get a bird I'm naming it Trump cuz all they two is Tweet	Replaced word - do -> Two
What do two call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence? Utter destruction.	Replaced word - you -> Two
two missile	Surface-to-air missile
Two buzzards were eating a dead clown. One said to the other, "Does this taste funny to two?"	Replaced word - you -> Two
Why was the peanut rushed two the hospital? He was a"salted"	Replaced word - to -> Two
All jeans are skinny jeans... ...if two're fat enough.	Replaced word - you -> Two

Why two Egyptian farts smell the same? They have toots in common.	Replaced word - do -> Two

list of former presidents of the philippines who two public office	List of former presidents of the Philippines who pursued public office
spending two	Spending Review
navy two	Navy blue
How can two tell if someone is a true blonde? They clean their hair with air conditioner.	Replaced word - you -> Two
How many surrealists does it take two change a light bulb? Fish!	Replaced word - to -> Two
What would two call the Fantastic Four if Snoop Dogg joined the team? The High Five	Replaced word - you -> Two
the hitchhiker's guide two the galaxy	The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
is two is or is two ain't my baby	Is You Is or Is You Ain't My Baby
the two yorker	The New Yorker
How many black people does it take two screw in a light bulb? 3/5	Replaced word - to -> Two
How many MRAs does it take two screw in a lightbulb? None. They just blame feminism for the darkness.	Replaced word - to -> Two
How do you get a blonde two marry you? Tell her she's pregnant. What will be her response? "Is it mine?"	Replaced word - to -> Two
sky two	Sky blue
shire of two	Shire of Cue

i two i two i two i two i two	I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do
How two you get a blonde to marry you? Tell her she's pregnant. What will be her response? "Is it mine?"	Replaced word - do -> Two
eddy two	Eddy Cue
job two	Job queue
A fly walks two a bar... and asks: "Is this stool taken?"	Replaced word - into -> Two
What two you call four rats on a mathematical equation? A quadratic equation :)	Replaced word - do -> Two
What two you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.	Replaced word - do -> Two
Happy try not two jump off a bridge day! Oh and it's also Valentines day	Replaced word - to -> Two
What two you call a guy with no arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob!	Replaced word - do -> Two
fluid two	Fluid queue
there for two	There for You
message two	Message queue
pool revolution: two sports	Pool Revolution: Cue Sports
What's a 68? You do me, and I'll owe two 1!!	Replaced word - you -> Two
bleeding two	Bleeding Through
What two you get when you throw a baby against a wall? An erection	Replaced word - do -> Two
Why two they have braille on drive-thru ATMs?	Replaced word - do -> Two
How can two tell if a blonde woman has been dating? By the belt buckle imprint on her forehead.	Replaced word - you -> Two
A good way two save face is two keep the lower half shut.	Replaced word - to -> Two
what do two call a blonde that dyed her hair brunette. artificial intelligence.	Replaced word - you -> Two
baby it's two	Baby It's You

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