Best "Two" Puns List

Below lists all the good and bad Two puns. These puns are rearranged in a funny manner, read these hilarious Two puns and share them with your friends and family. All puns words are only for Fun and Entertainment purposes.

Rhymes for 'Two'


Puns Source
You hear about the University book store worker who was charged for stealing $20,000 worth of books?
He got caught trying two sell the two books two a freshman.
Replaced word - to -> Two
What do two call a short psychic on the lam? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A small medium at large! Replaced word - you -> Two
How do you keep a blonde busy? Write with a sharpie and tell her two erase it. Replaced word - to -> Two
How many Germans does it take two screw in a lightbulb?
Just one. They are very efficient and don't have much of a sense of humor.
Replaced word - to -> Two
Want to hear a dirty joke?
A white horse fell two mud.Want to hear a clean joke? Three men taking a shower together.
Replaced word - into -> Two
Remember, no-one is listening until two fart. Replaced word - you -> Two
What two you call four rats on a mathematical equation?
A quadratic equation :)
Replaced word - do -> Two
pool revolution: two sports Pool Revolution: Cue Sports
What do two call a blond with half a brain? Gifted. Replaced word - you -> Two
What do you call an alligator from India whose in charge of telling everyone what two do?
A Deli-gator...I'll be here all week!
Replaced word - to -> Two
Two buzzards were eating a dead clown. One said to the other, "Does this taste funny to two?" Replaced word - you -> Two
What do two call an exercise machine with a strobe light?
An epileptical.
Replaced word - you -> Two
A good way two save face is two keep the lower half shut. Replaced word - to -> Two
stairway two heaven Stairway to Heaven
acm two ACM Queue
o two É two a baiana tem? O Que É Que A Baiana Tem?
fluid two Fluid queue
Silence is golden, because two never have to explain something two didn't say. Replaced word - you -> Two
How many lawyers does it take two shingle the roof of a house? It depends on how thin you slice 'em. Replaced word - to -> Two
Why did the first blonde president move out of the oval office? She couldn't find a corner two put her stuff in. Replaced word - to -> Two
Yo mama's so fat, when she walks by the television set two miss three episodes. Replaced word - you -> Two
the villain still two her The Villain Still Pursued Her
I was going two get a headjob for Valentines Day
But my back was sore and I couldn't reach.
Replaced word - to -> Two
I drive way too fast two worry about my cholesterol. Replaced word - to -> Two
How many MRAs does it take two screw in a lightbulb?
None. They just blame feminism for the darkness.
Replaced word - to -> Two
How do two split Rome in half?
You use a pair of caesars.
Replaced word - you -> Two
A horse walked two a bar. The barman said, "Why the long face?" Replaced word - into -> Two
What two you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef! Replaced word - do -> Two
Your momma so ugly when she went two the horse track people started placing bets on her. Replaced word - to -> Two
Why two golfers wear two pairs of pants?
In case they get a hole in one!
Replaced word - do -> Two
How do two keep a blonde busy? Write with a sharpie and tell her to erase it. Replaced word - you -> Two
floating two space Floating Through Space
Whenever I call my husband two wash the dishes, I am reminded what a great lover he is.
He never comes quickly.
Replaced word - to -> Two
You're so fat, when two sit around the house, two really sit around the house. Replaced word - you -> Two
Why two they call a bird that lives by the sea, a seagul?
Because if it lived by the bay, it would be called a Bagel.
Replaced word - do -> Two
I hate how you cant even say black paint anymore
Now I have two say "Leroy can you please paint the fence?"
Replaced word - to -> Two
Yo mamma is so fat she walked two the GAP and filled it. Replaced word - into -> Two
Do two know the Chinese nickname for the Dutch politician Geert Wilders? Answer: Dum Thing! Replaced word - you -> Two
What two you call an exercise machine with a strobe light?
An epileptical.
Replaced word - do -> Two
Are the readers of this subreddit mostly men?
Who else would consider a couple inches of text two be long?
Replaced word - to -> Two
thirty seconds two mars Thirty Seconds to Mars
juro two Juro Que
Some people complain about it, but I don't really mind going two work every morning...
It's the 8 hour wait to go home again that pisses me off.
Replaced word - into -> Two
i two i two i two i two i two I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do
scholarly peer two Scholarly peer review
the hitchhiker's guide two the galaxy The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
I went two look at tents today.
But I didn't buy one. There was nothing before them, there was no pre-tents.
Replaced word - to -> Two
hawaiian ocean two hawaii Hawaiian Ocean View, Hawaii
What two you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence? Utter destruction. Replaced word - do -> Two
I went two a zoo and there was only one animal...
It was a 'Shih Tzu'
Replaced word - to -> Two
wikipedia star trek two darkness debate Wikipedia Star Trek Into Darkness debate
How many software engineers does it take two change a light bulb?
None. That's a hardware problem.
Replaced word - to -> Two
Did two hear the one about the Polish wolf? He chewed off three legs and was still caught in the trap. Replaced word - you -> Two
virtual two Virtual queue
eddy two Eddy Cue
Did two hear about the LEGO truck that crashed on the highway?
Authorities are still trying to piece everything together...
Replaced word - you -> Two
What does a Polish guy two on the ice?
He breaks in.
Replaced word - do -> Two
two rate Click-through rate
Your heart cannot be an American Hero
Because I am going two capture it
Replaced word - to -> Two
re-education two labor Re-education through labor
capão two leão Capão do Leão

What is Two Puns?

Often we all experience this at one time or the other in life when we have to crack a joke in front of our friends, family but the joke does not come to our mind. Same as if you want to make funny puns jokes for Two, then on this website you can find Two puns and share it.

Tags related to - Two puns

  • Two puns list
  • online Two pun maker
  • random Two puns list

#1 Welcome to the Pun Generator

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These pun words are taken from the internet and arranged in a funny order. We sincerely hope that you will like the Pun Maker tool, if no words on your mind you can start with the words given above table.

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