Best Funny Puns For "Two"

Below lists all the good and bad Two puns. These puns are rearranged in a funny manner, read these hilarious Two puns and share them with your friends and family. All puns words are only for Fun and Entertainment purposes.

Puns	Source
Two buzzards were eating a dead clown. One said to the other, "Does this taste funny to two?"	Replaced word - you -> Two
What do two call people who use the "pull out" method for contraception? Parents.	Replaced word - you -> Two
Yo Mama's so dumb she took a spoon two the Superbowl!	Replaced word - to -> Two
Yo Mama's so ugly, two guys broke two her apt., she yelled "rape", they yelled "NO!"	Replaced word - into -> Two
Did two hear about the LEGO truck that crashed on the highway? Authorities are still trying to piece everything together...	Replaced word - you -> Two
double-ended two	Double-ended queue
What two nerdy mermaids wear? Algae-bras	Replaced word - do -> Two
How can you tell if someone is a two blonde? They clean their hair with air conditioner.	Replaced word - true -> Two
who do two think two are	Who Do You Think You Are
book two	Book review
Do two know what the secret of an islamic marriage is? The man get's to see a striptease every night!	Replaced word - you -> Two
What two you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together? 100 people who don't two dick.	Replaced word - do -> Two
royal two	Royal blue
Want to hear a dirty joke? A white horse fell two mud.Want to hear a clean joke? Three men taking a shower together.	Replaced word - into -> Two
Your momma is so ugly, the government moved Halloween two her birthday.	Replaced word - to -> Two
sky two	Sky blue
god told moses two come forth but he tripped on a banana peel and came fifth	Replaced word - to -> Two
What two you call four rats on a mathematical equation? A quadratic equation :)	Replaced word - do -> Two
What do two call a blond with half a brain? Gifted.	Replaced word - you -> Two
I'm a scientist I'm always trying two guess if it's solid, liquid or gas. When I fart.	Replaced word - to -> Two
news & two	News & Review
richard two	Richard Hewes

mas two nada	Mas que Nada
multilevel feedback two	Multilevel feedback queue
How two you keep a blonde busy? Write with a sharpie and tell her to erase it.	Replaced word - do -> Two
juro two	Juro Que
How many Germans does it take two screw in a lightbulb? Just one. They are very efficient and don't have much of a sense of humor.	Replaced word - to -> Two
¿qué tengo two hacer?	¿Qué Tengo Que Hacer?
How many lawyers does it take to shingle the roof of a house? It depends on how thin two slice 'em.	Replaced word - you -> Two
herald & two	Herald & Review
Have two heard about the sauna that serves food? Their specialty is steamed mussels.	Replaced word - you -> Two
floating two space	Floating Through Space
Yo Mama's so stupid, it takes her two hours two watch 60 Minutes!	Replaced word - to -> Two
How two you split Rome in half? You use a pair of caesars.	Replaced word - do -> Two
Did two know diarhea is part of your inheritence? Ya, it flows in our genes.	Replaced word - you -> Two
bleeding two	Bleeding Through
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day... Teach him how two fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.	Replaced word - to -> Two
How can two tell if a blonde woman has been dating? By the belt buckle imprint on her forehead.	Replaced word - you -> Two
Brake fluid I know a guy who is addicted two brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.	Replaced word - to -> Two
How many cancer patients does it take two change a light bulb? 1 and 12 people two say how inspiring it was	Replaced word - to -> Two
What do two call 2 Mexicans in a boat with a case of beer? A piñat	Replaced word - you -> Two

A gay guy walking backwards walks two a bar... and proceeds to moan in pleasure.	Replaced word - into -> Two
extermination two labour	Extermination through labour
What two you call an exercise machine with a strobe light? An epileptical.	Replaced word - do -> Two

navy two	Navy blue
entry two force	Entry into force
bulk two	Bulk queue
How do you get a blonde two marry you? Tell her she's pregnant. What will be her response? "Is it mine?"	Replaced word - to -> Two
What two you call people who use the "pull out" method for contraception? Parents.	Replaced word - do -> Two
fleet two	Fleet review
My boss said to me, "two're the worst train driver ever. How many have two derailed this year?" I said, "I'm not sure; it's hard to keep track."	Replaced word - you -> Two
lifestyle two	Lifestyle You

I hate how two cant even say black paint anymore Now I have to say "Leroy can two please paint the fence?"	Replaced word - you -> Two
What two you call the skeleton of a blonde you find in a closet? 1950's Hide-n-seek champion.	Replaced word - do -> Two
the two yorker	The New Yorker
What two you tell a conductor when they lose control of their orchestra? Go Bach and get a Handel on it!	Replaced word - do -> Two
I started this two whiskey diet. I've lost 4 days already!	Replaced word - new -> Two

What do two call four rats on a mathematical equation? A quadratic equation :)	Replaced word - you -> Two
re-education two labor	Re-education through labor
You hear about the University book store worker who was charged for stealing $20,000 worth of books? He got caught trying two sell the two books two a freshman.	Replaced word - to -> Two

What two you call 2 Mexicans in a boat with a case of beer? A piñat	Replaced word - do -> Two

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