Best "Two" Puns List

Below lists all the good and bad Two puns. These puns are rearranged in a funny manner, read these hilarious Two puns and share them with your friends and family. All puns words are only for Fun and Entertainment purposes.

Rhymes for 'Two'

Puns Source
Are the readers of this subreddit mostly men?
Who else would consider a couple inches of text two be long?
Replaced word - to -> Two
the two The View
Happy try not two jump off a bridge day!
Oh and it's also Valentines day
Replaced word - to -> Two
How do two know if your roommate is gay?
His dick tastes like shit.
Replaced word - you -> Two
g/g/1 two G/G/1 queue
If I get a bird I'm naming it Trump
cuz all they two is Tweet
Replaced word - do -> Two
Why did the priest go two the gym?
For muscle mass. I thought of this one in the shower this morning.
Replaced word - to -> Two
who do two think two are Who Do You Think You Are
I went two a zoo and there was only one animal...
It was a 'Shih Tzu'
Replaced word - to -> Two
Yo mama is so stupid, she climbed over a glass wall two see the other side. Replaced word - to -> Two
Why did the first blonde president move out of the oval office? She couldn't find a corner two put her stuff in. Replaced word - to -> Two
I'm a scientist
I'm always trying two guess if it's solid, liquid or gas. When I fart.
Replaced word - to -> Two
i heard it two the grapevine I Heard It Through the Grapevine
How do two split Rome in half?
You use a pair of caesars.
Replaced word - you -> Two
Why two golfers wear two pairs of pants?
In case they get a hole in one!
Replaced word - do -> Two
what two you call a blonde that dyed her hair brunette.
artificial intelligence.
Replaced word - do -> Two
What two you call a black person on the moon?
An astronaut
Replaced word - do -> Two
How can two tell if someone is a true blonde? They clean their hair with air conditioner. Replaced word - you -> Two
re-education two labor Re-education through labor
What do two get when two put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together? 100 people who don't do dick. Replaced word - you -> Two
My boss said to me, "two're the worst train driver ever. How many have two derailed this year?"
I said, "I'm not sure; it's hard to keep track."
Replaced word - you -> Two
So I hear Lil Wayne is in critical condition. I think it has two do with his lungs...
He's always been a lil weezy.
Replaced word - to -> Two
a two to a kill A View to a Kill
passing two Passing Through
How many software engineers does it take two change a light bulb?
None. That's a hardware problem.
Replaced word - to -> Two
point of two Point of view
the two yorker The New Yorker
What two you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together? 100 people who don't two dick. Replaced word - do -> Two
there for two There for You
Yo mama is so dumb, she had two. Replaced word - you -> Two
What does a blonde say when she loses her virginity? "So are two guys all on the same team?" Replaced word - you -> Two
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day... Teach him how two fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Replaced word - to -> Two
entry two force Entry into force
billy two Billy Hewes
scholarly peer two Scholarly peer review
what shadows we two What Shadows We Pursue
What do two call an alligator from India whose in charge of telling everyone what to do?
A Deli-gator...I'll be here all week!
Replaced word - you -> Two
Remember, no-one is listening until two fart. Replaced word - you -> Two
Yo mama's so fat, when she walks by the television set two miss three episodes. Replaced word - you -> Two
capão two leão Capão do Leão
What would two get if Geddy Lee, Neil Peart and Alex Lifeson all died in a plane crash?
Take your time, there's no Rush...
Replaced word - you -> Two
I know it's sick...
But I'm curious about what bulimics two in the toilet.
Replaced word - do -> Two
What two you tell a conductor when they lose control of their orchestra?
Go Bach and get a Handel on it!
Replaced word - do -> Two
happy birthday two you Happy Birthday to You
What two you get when you throw a baby against a wall?
An erection
Replaced word - do -> Two
Did two hear about the psychic midget who escaped from prison?
The Headlines in the paper read "Small medium at large"
Replaced word - you -> Two
security two obscurity Security through obscurity
i two i two i two i two i two I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do
What two you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence? Utter destruction. Replaced word - do -> Two
What's a 68?
You do me, and I'll owe two 1!!
Replaced word - you -> Two
peer two Peer review
What do two call a blond with half a brain? Gifted. Replaced word - you -> Two
¿qué tengo two hacer? ¿Qué Tengo Que Hacer?
Yo Mama's so ugly, two guys broke two her apt., she yelled "rape", they yelled "NO!" Replaced word - into -> Two
Some people complain about it, but I don't really mind going two work every morning...
It's the 8 hour wait to go home again that pisses me off.
Replaced word - into -> Two
What do two call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. Replaced word - you -> Two
How does the moon cut his hair?
'Eclipse itThought it was relevant two today's eclipse...
Replaced word - to -> Two
lifestyle two Lifestyle You
nicholas two baron two Nicholas True, Baron True
What do two call a short psychic on the lam? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A small medium at large! Replaced word - you -> Two
spending two Spending Review

What is Two Puns?

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Tags related to - Two puns

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  • online Two pun maker
  • random Two puns list

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